Alex stood in the shower, letting the cool water run down his back. His thoughts kept running about Jocelynn. About how she had acted when she came home from shopping with China almost 3 months ago and the odd behavior since. She had been uneasy the whole evening, jumping nearly out of her skin when ever her cell-phone would ring. Only when she was around her son she was calm and happy. But a few times he had caught her looking at the child with a worried face, only to have it disappear as quickly as it showed. He knew something was up. Even when they would make love she seemed to be somewhat withdrawn, as if part of her was missing.

          And once they were on tour she was somewhat back to herself, but the smiles, the laughter, the passion was not the same. It was as if someone cut the wick in the candle too short. Only long enough for a small flame but not enough to actually burn as bright as it was able. He noticed now much everyone else was picking up on her withdrawal. How patient Kevin was during recording sessions, how Kolas helped with Drogyn through out the day, giving her time write, or just relax. Brian and Howie even took Drogyn often to let her and Alex have time alone in hopes that Alex could help coax her out of her state. More so, he noticed how often Gina would call her and asked her for more and more help with the final preparations for the wedding; which was now only 4 days away.

But so far nothing had worked.

Anytime they went anywhere she always seemed to be looking over her shoulder, if they went past any magazines she would flinch as if she had been struck. There were still a lot of articles about her and Kevin’s supposed affair in June, now more then ever, speculations of whether or not she was pregnant since she was never seen with out a hoody on or a loose t-shirt. The fans knew it wasn’t true, Kevin and Jocelynn always denied it, stressing that they were only friends and colleges. But with the confirmation of Kevin and Kristen filing for divorce 3 weeks into the tour it didn’t seem to matter.

In a way Alex wished he could stop it all by letting people know that he and Jocelynn were together and that Kevin was just working on Joce’s album, that nothing between them ever happened. But Jocelynn wouldn’t hear of it. She would just say that it wouldn’t matter because then she and him would be followed like road kill by vultures. He agreed in a way. It was nice to be in a relationship that wasn’t all over the tabloids. And in the past month he had even gotten used to Kolas being around. Sure Kolas was close to Jocelynn and they seemed to know each other better then most people, but they were just friends. He never saw anything to make him think other wise, save for the club and whipped cream incident in June. Which he knew full heartedly that he instigated with Sasha’s bold intro. Coming to the conclusion that his initial out burst was due to only his foolish pride, he tried to make a relationship with Kolas. Hell they played poker with Brian and Howie, and hung out with Drogyn when Joce was working with Kevin on the album. Now all he was hoping on was that when they left to get back to L.A. tomorrow that the wedding and everything would pull her out of her funk.

          Stepping out of the shower, once he was finished, Alex wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom and into their hotel room, where Jocelynn was still asleep. Last night Nick and China asked if Drogyn could have a little sleep over with Brennen since Brennen had spent the night with them 2 nights before. Sitting on her side of their bed he watched her sleep, her long eyelashes laid along her cheekbones and her hair fell half across her face.

          “Jocie-Doll, it’s time to get up, sweetheart.” He whispered against her ear. “I have to be in rehearsal in 2 hours and Nick called to say that he and China will meet us there with the boys. Wake up. Let’s celebrate the last show of the tour.” He beckoned her with feathery kisses across her temple and eyes.

          Stirring from the heavy fog of her sleep, Jocelynn let out a murmured sigh as she stretched and looked up at Alex. “Hmm, morning.”

          Pulling the blankets away from her naked body he tugged off his towel and laid his body onto of hers, “Good morning.” He answered back, kissing gently along her neck. “You know, it’s been 7 days. And we still have 2 more hours before rehearsal.” Seven long days in fact since they had last made love. Last Tuesday in Dallas, Jocelynn had gone to the doctor’s office in order to have her Depo-Evra shot, and was advised to wait 7 days before having sex again.

          Her body arched against his, “Alex, you know as much as I want to, it’s not a good idea. I told you that I would feel more comfortable to wait until tomorrow. I don’t want to take any risks.”

          Alex buried his face against the hallow of her throat and let out a soft growl, “I know, and I agree.” He relented in defeat. With the reluctance of a child being told he could not play with the new toy given to him, he rolled off her, and snuggled her tightly to his side.

“What time is it?” She asked as she closed her eyes, nestling against him.

          “It’s about 6:30. Why? Planning on going back to sleep?”

          “Wishing actually. But none the less, I have to get up.” She muttered as she pulled away and sat up in the bed. “I need to get to a phone conference in 15 minutes.”

          “With who?” Alex asked sitting up behind her. He lifted his left hand and traced his index finger down her spine, sending a shiver down her back that raked through her body and emitted a soft gasp from her lips.

          “Some stupid suits and with Kevin. They just want to know about the progression of the album. And to hear a few tracks of the tracks that we have finished.”

“Ah, you mean they can hear it but the rest of us can’t?”

“It’s a surprise and there are still a lot of things I want to change on majority of them before I let anyone else hear them.” She answered as she stood to walk to her duffle bag and slipped on a pair of khaki Capri pants and red tank top.

“You look like you should be working at Target.” He commented with a teasing grin.

Glancing over her shoulder as she pulled on her black hoody, she looked back at with and stuck out her tongue. “I will be back in an hour at the most. I promise.” She told him as she headed for the door

          Nodding with a tired smile, Alex glanced over her once more and jumped out of bed to kiss her before she opened the door. “Okay, but I will hold you to tomorrow.”

          Jocelynn laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows, “Ok babe. Now get something on or get in bed before someone sees you naked in the hotel hallway.” She scolded him with a large smile as she started to open the door as a threat.

          “Hey, wouldn’t be the first time.” Kolas groaned, having just been ready to knock on their door to pick up Joce for her meeting. Covering his eyes with his hands, he walked into the room, “Something tells me that this is something that can scar someone for life.”

          “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bite me, Kole.” Alex muttered as he threw his robe on. “Ok, all decent.”

          Shaking his hand with his eyes still covered, Kolas murmured, “Not possible with you,” Quickly tacking only one hand away he reached out for Joce, found her and grabbed her hand tightly as he started to pull her out of the room. “Come on, lil’ girl. You shouldn’t be left alone with this pervert.”

          “I am NOT little, dang nabbit!” She retorted as she was pulled out of the hotel room.

          “Yadda, yadda, yadda. Let’s go, short shit.”

          “Short shit, who are you calling short shit?!”

          Alex closed the door to the room once they made it down the hall. Leaning against the door he looked around the room and let out a laugh as he raked his hand through his hair. The only thing he could think was that it was damn good to have Joce as his woman. Heading back for the bed, he tossed his robe aside and threw himself on the bed, pulling the blankets over his head and fell right to sleep.

²²²²²²²²²²²²²²

          China sighed grudgingly as she slumped into the seat next to Jocelynn. They were looking in on the boy’s rehearsal. Kolas had Brennen and Drogyn in a backstage room so the boys could take a nap. Looking to her right, China  stared at Joce who was writing in her notebook. So much had been going on lately. Originally she had thought that things between her and Nick would be great, even with Brennen with them on the tour. But as days and weeks went on, she hated to admit it but, she was wrong. Last night they had Drogyn sleep over so that Alex could try and pull Joce out of her little cocoon, but Nick and her ended up not talking to each other the whole night. He spent majority of it on the bed as she chased after the boys, fed them, bathed them, and put them to bed. Only offering to tell them a bed time story.

          Now she sat in the 3rd row and all that she could think of was how much she would rather be back home. If Nick and her weren’t fighting they were not talking to each other. She started to feel guilty about the factor that she couldn’t go out partying or to the clubs with him when they were in Dallas, now in Las Vegas, she felt even worse. There were so many places that he had told her that he loved to go to when he was here, but with Brennen, she couldn’t go with. She needed to be with her son, go out and partying hadn’t been an option for her in a long time.

          “Joce?” She asked as she looked down at the floor.

          “Yeah, Chi?”

          “I think I am going to go back home after this show.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “ I won’t be going back with you all to L.A. for Gina and Howie’s wedding.”

          Joce’s head jerked up and she looked at China, shock was apparent on her face, “What? Why?”

          Taking in a quick and short breath, China wiped the small tear from her eye that was threatening to give away how much this was hurting her, “I- ah. I just, I-” She paused, “I’m going to break it off with Nick. And I think it would be in bad taste for me to show up afterwards.”

          “Oh my God.” Joce gasped, “Why, China?”

          “It’s just not working out. I mean, we are just at different points in our lives. I feel like I am holding him back, I can’t go out party or to the clubs and I know how much he wants to. And lately all we do is fight, I don’t understand, everything was so great before.”

          “China, you have a son who wasn’t with you before. Of course things are going to be different now that he is with you all the time. You and Nick are still adjusting to having Brennen with you all the time. I mean, you knew that it’s not easy. Shit he should have known also that there are certain things that you have to sacrifice when you are involved with a single parent.”

          “I know, I know. And I know we both thought that we could make this work, but the truth of the matter is, I don’t think he is ready.” A hard lump rose in her throat that made it that much harder to keep the tears from forming in her eyes. Blinking them back China added, “I don’t think we were ever ready. The idea of it was so easy to come up with but –“

          “You didn’t expect to work so hard for it?”

          “Yea, look at you and Alex with Drogyn. It looks like it’s so easy for you.”

          A sigh came before Jocelynn was able to answer that. It had been easy for her and Alex when it came to Drogyn. But majority of that had to do with the fact that Alex knew that someone else already had the role of ‘dad’ in her son’s life. Laying her hand on China’s, she looked into her friends misty eyes, “Maybe the reason why is because Alex knows where he stands with my son. It might not be the same for Nick.”

          “Well, why not?”

          “Well did you think to ask him that? Did the two of you ever sit down and discuss the positive and negatives of the situation. China, he probably is hesitant about his place when it comes to Brennen. Where do you think it is?”

          “His place is to help me with him, to be a father.” China whimpered in frustration.

          “That’s where you’re wrong. His place is as your boyfriend. You can’t expect him to just jump into daddy mode. Chi, he’s place is not to be a father. Brennen is not his son, nor are you his wife. There are certain boundaries when it comes to this kind of thing. Now did you talk to him about this?” China shook her head. “Well, maybe you should before you make this decision.”

          “Joce, no. I already have made up my mind.” China said firmly but still quietly as she stood up. Looking down at Joce she gave a slight shrug, “We’re taking the 8:20 out tomorrow morning to Denver then to Rock Springs. I have a ride and everything. I just, need to do this.”

          “I think you are wrong to leave without serious thought, but…” Joce stood up and gave China a reassuring hug, “If you want you two can stay at my apartment. The rent’s paid already for the next 6 months. If this is what you want, I will help you out. Here take my keys, and if you find yourself in a bind there is an extra ATM card in the bottom of my closet in a box marked, “Back Taxes” it is in an envelope tapes at the bottom. Okay?” Joce dropped her keys into the pocked of China’s sweater.

          “Thank you, Joce. I got to go get Brennen. I need to finish packing.” China said as she pulled back and walked away.

          Staring after China, Joce shook her head and turned to look at Nick up on the stage, hoping that she changed her mind before it was to late. Suddenly her cell-phone rang and she answered it.

          “Hey, Joce it’s Gina.”

          “Hey Bride-Zilla, how are you doing?”

          “Great. A little nervous, but believe it or not that’s not why I am calling. The papers that you’ve been waiting for arrived today.”

          Joce flinched at the words, Joe had actually held to his threat and petitioned a court ordered paternity test a month ago. Since she was on tour and working on an album she had obtained permission to delay it till last week. She had told Alex that she was going for a Depo shot, for birth control when in fact she had taken Drogyn with her to have the paternity test done. Since then she lied to Alex about the reason why they couldn’t sleep together, the guilt was getting to her, and she found more and more often that she was thinking of Drogyn’s real dad. A secret she promised to take to her grave even with the pending test results. And now she was getting her copy of the results, well Gina was actually.

          “Joce? You still there?”

          Shaking her head to focus on now, Joce hesitantly answered, “Yeah, I am here.”

          “Well what do you want me to do? Want me to keep it till you get here or Fed-Ex it to you right away.”

          “No, neither. Um,” Her heart pounded in her head as she combed her hair back with her hand, “Can you open it and read it to me know?”

          “Are you sure?” Gina asked.

          “Um, I, uh, yes. I am sure.”

          “Ok,” Gina conceded as Joce heard her opening up the envelope on the other side of the line. “Ok, here it is. Male adult subject in question, 29 year old,  Joseph Anthony Edwards, yadda yadda yadda, male minor in question, 3 year old, Drogyn Mitchell Edwards. Test result show that the minor, 3-year-old, Drogyn M. Edwards does not share any common chromosomes with the adult male, Joseph A. Edwards, thus enabling said adult male to be the minor’s biological father. Test proves that Joseph Edwards did not father the child.” A pause. “Oh, Jocelynn. I am so sorry.”

          Joce stood there in the middle of the venue, biting on her lips so hard that it started to bleed. Her worst fear had come true, there was no undeniable proof that Joe was not Drogyn’s father. Granted it had been a fact she had always known in the back of her mind, but she never had thought that Joe would have actually gone through with this, knowing how much he could hurt Drogyn in doing so. Now she had no choice but to remain silent about Drogyn’s true parentage. God, how was she going to tell Drogyn this. What if he asked to know who his father was. She knew she would have the worst time trying to lie to her son, and in fact did not want to.

          And what of Alex? What if he asked, he would freak if she told him that she couldn’t tell him.

          “It-it’s okay, Gigi. We both knew this was going to happen and what the outcome was going to be. Um, just put that in a safe place for me till I get there. I, um, have to go. I need to be with my son.” She said trying to sound calm.

          Not buying the falseness in her sister’s voice for a second, Gina asked, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I mean if you want tell the guys I had a wedding emergency and hop on the next flight home. Or bus for that matter since you are in Vegas.”

          “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll come back with everyone else tomorrow. I promise.”

          “Well, okay.” Gina said hesitantly, worrying about her sister. “Just call me if you need anything. Okay, anything.”

          “ I will, and I promise. I will talk to you later. Bye.”

          “Okay, bah-bye.”