Brian watched intently at Alex and Nick who were immersed in an encaging conversation about which them could jump off the stage the farthest in order to succeed in an arena stage dive.

          “I’m telling you, I am taller so I can jump farther.” Nick pointed out as he gestured his hands to his long legs. “See long legs, long distance.”

          Alex rolled his eyes, “Bull, man. I still say I can jump far enough to make it across the security to pull it off.”

          Brian crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head to Kevin who was behind him getting his harness off, “Can you believe these children?”

          Kevin shrugged as he finally got the straps unhooked, “I’m not going to even bother. They never listened when they were younger. It’s just a waste of breath.” He added as he moved to stand neck to his cousin.

          Nodding, Brian considered, “True, but you would think that they would grow up some what now that they are both with women who have small boys.”

          “Ah, but that is the magic word. ‘Think’, which Huey and Louis have proved many times over the years that they don’t do.” Kevin chuckled as they turned their attention to the youngest two members.

          Nick took a step forward to Alex, “Oh really, frog man. Well how about we try tonight during the concert. We can make a contest of it and the fans will decide. It will be great as the last concert.”

          Alex opened his mouth in order to take the challenge just as a foam football shot across the stage and hit him in the chest and bounced up and off to hit Nick in the head.

          “If either of you think of trying such a moronic and asinine not to mention potentially dangerous stunt, I will personally see to it that both of you are snipped.” A voice said over the speakers.

          The 5 Backstreet Boys members looked around the arena trying to find the source of that voice.

          Nick, being either bold or just plain stupid, decided to speak out, “Snipped? What the hell do you mean snipped?”

          A soft feminine groan of annoyances was heard next, “Snipped, as in, Pony Boy, getting your little Backstreet Boy’s little swimmers cut off.” A pause. “A vasectomy.”

          A group of laughs erupted  through out the arena as Nick, Brian, Kevin, Howie and Alex all made painful faces and covered their groins with their hands and microphones. Taking the opportunity at hand, Jocelynn jumped on stage with her digital camera and took a photo of the five. Nick was, as usual, the first to react, by picking up the foam football and chucking it right back at her.

          “There is something seriously wrong with you.” Nick added as the ball flew over her head.

          Standing up, Joce let the camera fall back around her neck by the cord, while she readjusted the handless microphone piece. An arched eyebrow raised as she turned her head around to see where the football and fallen. Looking back at Nick, she couldn’t help but smirk, “That might be, but at least I don’t throw like a chick. See another valid reason for you to get snipped. I’d hate to see those sissy throwing genes get passed on to any sons.”

          Brian elbowed Kevin, “I will give Jocelynn credit. She has more balls then most men I know.”

          Rubbing the sore area of his ribs Kevin nodded in agreement, “That’s for damn sure.”

          Howie looked worried however, “Ah, I’m sure we have all seen the ‘I’m gonna kill you face’ on Nick before. But don’t you think that we should warn her?”

          Alex shook his head, “No, my girl can take care of herself. She can handle Nick, I’ve seen it before.”

          Nick took 5 steps closer to her, but Jocelynn only stood with her feet planted firmly shoulder width apart and her hands on her hips. Nick’s jaw tightened and his fingers started to clench together as he finally stopped only a few inches from her. Joce rose her head up to meet his eyes. Showing no fear or anger, Jocelynn then did the unthinkable. Her right arm shot out and wrapped around Nick’s neck and back of his head, then she pulled his head directly to hers.

          “Don’t ever try intimidating me.” She said out loud to him. Then she pulled his head closer so that his forehead rested on her shoulder, “You need to learn to think and act with a clear head. You need to learn patience and how to control your temper. Or you are going to lose something and someone that you hold dear to you. Tonight.” She told him quietly so no one else could hear. Then she released her grip on him and stared into his eyes once more, “If you do something stupid tonight,  I will personally see that your life shattered. Comprede, mi amigo?”

          Nick nodded as he looked around the front of the stage area, taking the clue she gave him to heart. When he didn’t see China around, nor Brennen playing in the Playschool area that the guys bought and set up for Drogyn and Brennen, he panicked. Drogyn was playing in the art center alone with Kolas. Without saying anything to the other guys, Nick rushed to the end of the stage and jumped off, without missing a step he ran to the exit that led to the tour busses in the back.

          Joce took in a slow breath, “Mind your temper you dumbass.” She whispered as they all watched the door swing shut behind him.

          Never taking his eyes off of Joce the whole time Kevin moved toward her to find out what she said to Nick, but as he started to move Alex rushed to her and hugged her tightly. Swinging her around in circles.

          “Knock it off, Alex. You are going to make me sick.” Her voice carried through the arena on the headset she wore.

          “Hey, here. Let me help you get that turned off.” Alex offered as he ran his hands wrapped around her waist seductively as he sought out the power box hooked on to the back of her pants. Flicking the power off he allowed his hands to linger, tracing his finger tips on the sensitive skin of her lower back.

          Rolling his eyes, Howie grunted, “Dear lord, go somewhere private before you molest her here on the stage.”

          Letting out an uncomfortable laugh, Joce reached behind her to grip Alex’s wrist and pry them off her body so she could take a step back.

          Concerned brown eyes looked down on her, “Joce, are you okay baby?” Alex asked as he got a good look at her eyes. They were duller then before, her pain was evident in her eyes.

          Licking her lips, Joce lowered her head a bit and nodded, “Yes. I am fine. I just think I am nervous about tonight.”

          “Nervous? How come?” Alex as curiously.

          “Hmm, um, it’s your final show of the tour. I want it to be a perfect show for you.” She said swiftly, trying to cover her small slip.

          Ok, that was true, sort of. Tonight was making her very nervous, but for many different reasons. Tonight was her first solo performance debut as the guy’s opening act. She was going to perform a 6 song set, alone, in front of thousands and thousands of people.  And right about now, she was wishing that she hadn’t agreed to do it when the original act backed out this 2 days before. But Alex didn’t know that. In fact, none of the Backstreet members knew about it. Not even Kevin, who had been working with her on nearly the whole album. The only person who knew was Kolas, and only because he had been getting her to and from the secret rehearsals with Kara and Tara who he snuck onto the tour with out anyone knowing so they could help her pull it off.

          At first, Jocelynn hadn’t thought they could pull it off, but the girls and Kolas surprised her. Having revamped 5 of the 6 songs for live performance, even naming the band, “Onyx Rayne” and felt they were fully ready for tonight. Joce was excited because one of the songs they were performing tonight was an acoustic version of, ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ between her and Kolas, written originally by one of her favorite bands, Bon Jovi. The 6th song, was nearly done it just needed a bridge. It was Jocelynn pet project over the past few days, the 1st song she would perform in the set. ‘Tabloid News’ was a song that she had been working on with Kolas about all the things printed about her and Kevin’s supposed affair. In a way it was her attempt to set the record straight, sort of. But all in all it was just to make fun of tabloids and the fools that read and believed in them.

          Holy Henna, just thinking about being in front of that many people was making her nauseous. Maybe it had been a bad idea to have Gina read her the test results over the phone considering tonight. Oh hell, anything was a bad idea today.

          Alex noticed her once again lost in thought. It was happening more and more the past few days.

          ‘Joce? Are you alright? What is the matter baby?’

          Joce shrugged again, “Nothin’ is wrong.” She replied out loud, then realizing the slip her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened as she saw Howie behind Alex raise and eyebrow and mouth ‘Amado?’ to her.

          Quickly Joce retreated a few steps, remembering that she needed to give the 5 guys a task for the next hour so she and Onyx Rayne could get some actual sound checks done, that way if something didn’t sound right they could change it now.

          “So,” She started in effort to change the topic, “What are you guys up to now?”

          Brian shrugged, “I am gonna head out to the Mirage and pick up LeighAnn and Bailey. He wants to go see the Wiggles Show tonight. Drogyn likes the Wiggles too doesn’t he?”

          “Yeah, he has since he was a baby.” Joce answered remembering a 1 year old Drogyn trying to dance around like the 4 teachers from Australia.

          “Well, would you mind if we took him with us, we have two extra tickets, one for Drogyn and one for…” Brian trailed off, “But since something is going on with them… we would still like Drogyn to come with if that’s alright?”

          Joce smiled, “Well, let’s ask him.” She offered, turning to the empty arena on the right of the stage where Drogyn was still painting in the art center with Kolas. “HEY, DRAGON BOY!”

          A head of spiked light brown hair quickly looked up at her, along with an impish grin and her own green/blue eyes.

          Dear lord, he is starting to look more and more like his father. She thought to herself. The past 3 months on tour Drogyn had changed so much, his once white blonde hair was darkening, his pale skin had a healthy tan to it and the once piercing steel blue eyes shifted in their coloring like her own, but the young boys went from gray to blue to dark green. Being around the Backstreet family had definitely done nothing but good for Drogyn, who took to everyone right away and managed to wrap every person around his finger the moment that he smiled at them

          And with China having brought Brennen, and Leigh and coming with Bailey for the last few show, Drogyn flourished even more having interaction with his peers. A look of utter unconditional pride shown from her face as she looked lovingly at her son, and she knew that even with Joe no longer in his life, Drogyn would not have a void, for he had many new uncles and aunts to fill it.

          “Yes, Mama?” Drogyn’s musical voice called back loudly to her as he placed his paint brush down.

          “Uncle Brian would like to ask you something, would you please come up here?”

          “Yes, Mama. One minute, Uncle Brian.” Drogyn replied with a large grin. There was nothing he loved more then getting a chance to be around the older boys, he loved that they treated him just as his Mama did, as an equal. Quickly shedding his smock, he barreled toward the stage with Kolas right behind, who swiftly lifted the 3 year old up onto the stage.

          “My Mama said you want to ask me something, Uncle Brian?” Drogyn asked politely, then stole a glance up at his mother, who beamed down at him with pride making him feel 10 feet tall.

          Brian chuckled as he crouched down to Drogyn’s height, “Yes I would. LeighAnn, Bailey and I were hoping that you would like to come with us to see a Wiggles show before our big concert tonight. Would you like to come with?”

          “The Wiggles? Wow!” Drogyn exclaimed, “I have to ask my Mama.”

          Joce laughed out loud, “There is no need to ask, little man. You can go with as long as you do me one thing.”

          “What’s that, Mama?”

          Kneeling down next to Drogyn, Joce held open her arms, “Gimme a Dragon hug.”

          “YEA!” The little blonde whooped as he threw himself in her arms giving her a fierce hug. Pulling away a bit he asked, “Can I go change my cloths? I want to wear my Wiggles shirt.”

          Brian answered, “Actually, I was thinking that you and Bailey could get new shirts there, how is that?”

          “YEA!” Drogyn cheered again.

          “Well come on, my friend,” Brian held out his hand that Drogyn greedily accepted. “Let’s go pick up Aunt LeighAnn and Bailey.”

          “Okay.” Drogyn agreed as he walked away with Brian, turning his head he waved at Jocelynn, “Bye, Mama.”

          Waving back, Joce tried to hide the tears forming in her eyes, “Bye, Baby. I love you.”

          “Aw, MOM!” Drogyn groaned back acting embarrassed, “Not in front of the big boys.”

          To which all of them couldn’t help but laugh. Standing back up after Drogyn left with Brian, Joce turned to Alex, Howie and Kevin.

          “So what are you 3 fools up to for the next 5 hours of free time?” She asked, wiping the moisture from her eyes.

          Alex just smiled broadly, “Aw.”

          “Aw, what?” Joce asked.

          “You are so cute.”

          Howie groaned out loud, “Oh dear lord. Alex I think that we need to get you a life. Come on, you and I have some serious shopping to do.” He reminded Alex as he walked up and started to drag Alex away. “Kevin, you coming with?”

          Kevin just stared at Joce and shook his head, “No thanks. Joce and I have to work on a few new tracks before the record executives start hounding us.”

          “Suits. Get it right. All they are is what they wear. Suits.” Joce said firmly.

          Alex turned his head towards Joce, “Are you sure you don’t want me to help or come with us? You’ve been working on that album nearly every other day, you should come and have fun.”

          “I’m good, Alex. Plus Kevin is right, I do have a small deadline for tonight.”

          Grumbling, Alex conceded as he headed out with Howie. Pivoting on the heal of her black leather boots, Joce crossed her arms across her chest and looked up at Kevin.

          “Ok, so how much do you know?” She asked with an annoyed smiled.

          “Me? Know what?” He feigned innocently.

          “Men,” she muttered as she started to walk past him, “Kolas can you get-?” She trailed off not wanting to let anything slip out again.

          Kolas did a half-ass military salute and headed off to find Kara and Tara so that they could do their private sound check. Now all she had to do was get rid of Kevin.

          Right as she brushed past him, she attempted to lightly elbow him in the side, but before she even finished the thought, Kevin grabbed her arm and whispered, “I know everything that you do.”

          She bowed her head and laughed to herself, “Figures. But still, get going. I am sure that there are things to even amuse one as high and mighty as yourself. Because this,” She indicated to the stage and Onyx Rayne’s personal equipment was brought out. “Is a closed rehearsal.”

          Grabbing at his heart, Kevin pretended to lose balance, “Oh, the Diva attitude begins.”

          “And the prissy reign of the Backstreet Boy ends.”

          And with that she shoved him off the stage and to the backstage area.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

          Nick ran into his tour bus calling out China’s name only to find it empty. She wasn’t there, and neither was Brennen, there were no cheerios on the counter, no sippy-cups in the sink. The crayons and paper that were scattered across the table earlier that morning from Drogyn and Brennen were no longer there. He rushed to the sleeping area and pulled out every drawer of China’s and Brennen’s only to find that the cloths, diapers and personal items of theirs were gone. It was as if neither of them had ever been there.

          Red fury overcame him as he searched everywhere, looking for one feasible trace of proof that they had been there. And then, he found it, underneath the table, a drawing of Brennen’s. All that the picture was of was squiggles and odd shapes, a collage of a two year old learning his colors. Staring at the picture Nick’s mind cleared as he thought of how China had been spending most of their nights lately, either fighting or not talking to each other at all. Sitting on the couch, Nick slumped forward, running his hands through his hair he took in a deep breath, letting the picture fall to the ground. Leaning backward against the back of the couch, he kept his hands on his face as he felt the tears start to fall.

          This is not happening. He thought to himself, as he shoulders started to shake. Time seemed to stand still around him as he recalled their last fight two night before.

          “Chi, come on. Have Joce and Alex watch Brennen. Let’s go out to the clubs, some of my friends are in Vegas and want to meet you.” Nick repeated to China while she stepped out of the bathroom in the hotel room, wearing her pajama bottoms and a tank top. “I mean come on, the boys already are asleep in their room between theirs and ours. And there are adjoining doors on both sides so that if they needs anything either of us can help them.”

          China used the extra towel to dry her hair as she looked at him, “Nick,” She started as she scrunched her hair, “Joce took Brennen for the whole weekend for us in Dallas so we could party. In fact just about every time we get to a new city, Joce has taken Brennen. Look, we just went out the last night. No offence but partying doesn’t have any appeal to me too nights in a row.”

          Nick threw himself back on the bed in frustration, “Gimme a break, China. What the hell do you expect me to do? I’m 26 year old guy, all I wanna do is party.”

          “I didn’t say that you couldn’t go.” She replied quietly as she sat at the small table near the window , “I just don’t want to tonight. I was hoping we could have a night in.”

          “Damnit to hell, China. I don’t want to have a night in. I want to go out with my girlfriend, party and have a couple of beers! Is that too much to ask?”

          “Nick,” She drawled, “I can’t go out at whim and get drunk, I have a little boy who depends on me to take care of him.”

          “So, have Joce watch him tomorrow if you have a hangover.” Nick shrugged, standing up from the bed.

          “You just don’t get it do you?” China’s eyes flashed as she looked up at him from her chair. “I am a MOM, and MOMS can’t go out at random and get drunk. And those do end up doing something stupid that makes it so they end up losing their children. I’ve seen it happen, hell it happened to my mom! So if you want to go out and get drunk and act like the ass you always do, FINE! But don’t you dare try making me out to be the bad guy, because I would rather be a good mother then a good drunk girlfriend.”

          Standing up abruptly, China marched across the room, right past him towards the door that adjoined their room to Brennen’s and Drogyn’s.

          “Good night, Nick. Have fun.” She added curtly as she walked through the door and locked it behind her.

          Nick slumped farther into the couch on his tour bus, as he remembered how he had left for the night and got so shit as drunk that when he came back, he passed out on the bed fully clothed, and didn’t even notice China was in the bed waiting for him until the next morning when he say a glass of water with 2 aspirin and a banana on the night stand along with a card saying she was sorry.

          She was sorry? It wasn’t even her fault, he admitted to himself. The whole time he was afraid that if he stepped over the line with Brennen and she left him, he was subconsciously sabotaging the relationship. Maybe it was for the best, if didn’t deserve her and her son after the way he had been acting the past few months. But Damnit, it still hurt. Taking his hands of his face and looked around the bus again, this time taking it in. It was empty, completely void of any life and energy. It was as if a dark abyss was spreading through the room, and reaching for him. He let it, and he felt no pain, no betrayal, just… empty.