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'Love?! Did he just say love?! ' Jocelynn panicked, her
heart quickened in pace. And suddenly she had the desperate need to bolt out to the room, go home, into her bed and hide under
the covers. Alex felt her panic and fear as he held her, and his own sadness to the realization that she did not say anything
back.
Pulling away a little out of their embrace, he placed his hands on her face, searching
her eyes, "Joce, what's wrong?"
"Na - nothing, " She stuttered, "I just got a cold chill that
was all."She lied as she pulled back and sat on the bed. "So, what time are you leaving tomorrow morning?"
Alex looked at her with suspicion, "9am, you know that. Now, what is wrong?"
"I told you,
nothin' is wrong. I just had a chill."
He fell to his knees in front of her and pulled her
closer so that her legs were on each of his side. Placing his left hand on the small of her back holding her firmly there,
he took his other hand and tilted her chin so she looked directly at him, "Jocelynn," He said sternly, "That is a load of
shit and you know it. What is wrong?"
Shaking her head she looked him directly in the eyes,
"Nothing, ok!"
"Bullshit! I told you I loved you and instead of hearing anything back,
I got a wave of fear and panic flow from your body into mine. Now why don't you love me? Why did you panic when I said it
to you, Joce? I know from the beginning you said you didn't want to take a chance, but damn-it JOCE! You cannot sit there
and tell me that you feel nothing between us more then just friendly fucks! Not when we can sense each other the way we do.
WE ARE MORE THEN THAT AND YOU KNOW IT."
"I told you from the start that this week was as far
as it goes, Alex. Do you think that this is easy for me? Do you think I enjoy this right now? I know there is more. Ok, and
I hate the factor that I do. Because it makes it harder for me to do what is right!"
"What
is right is for us to make a go of this, to be together!"
"What is right is for my to think
of my son and how this would affect HIM. How this would affect his father as well. Joe and I share joint-custody of Drogyn,
I doubt that he would comply if I just uprooted Drogyn to follow you. That wouldn't be a relationship if I was always here
waiting for you to come home. I can't be a pop stars girlfriend!"
"Then I will move here!"Alex
nearly shouted, "I will move here if it means that I can be with you. And I will come home every chance I can. I will take
you and Drogyn with me on tours. I WILL MAKE JOE AGREE!"
"And what if it doesn't work
between us? What if things don't work out? Have you thought about that?"
Alex was silent for
a moment, "No, I haven't. I don't see this not working out, Joce. I mean it. I love you." He stressed as he pulled her hard
against him. "Why isn't that enough for you?" She didn't answer, a single tear just fell down her face. "What isn't love enough
for you, Joce?" He asked once again. She still didn't answer and he threw her back on the bed with him fully on top of her.
He hiked up her skirt and slipped two fingers into her, as he kissed her deeply. He laid his face in the hallow of her throat
as he moved his fingers at an agonizing pace, "Tell me that THIS is not enough, " He grunted as he kissed her throat that
he held firmly with his other hand.
Joce found her head spinning, she tried to fight the fog
clouding her mind, "Nah, Alex, no --"
"No what? No as in, no this isn't enough? Or
no as in, no you won't tell me?" He asked as he once again undid his pants, "NO WHAT?" He demanded as he quickly and harshly
buried himself in her as far as he could go.
She clench the back of his head with her right
hand as her left grabbed the sheets of the bed holding on for dear life. Her back arched up as he slammed into her once again,
the room was starting to spin now, she felt both of their hearts started to race, her head felt like it was about to explode,
she reached his face and as she brought it to hers she begged, "No, don't stop."
He ripped
down the top of her shirt and found himself once again biting down on to her collar bone as they both felt the world fall
from beneath them. An explosion of emotions, of tension released from their bodies that made them feel as if both of them
were not going to survive this. Alex felt as if his heart was about to burst while he finally found his release. He moved
his head up and kissed her as she cried his name over and over again into his mouth. He didn't stop his pace, he couldn't
stop it, he moved harder and faster until he felt as if he was going to pass out. Jocelynn looked up at him as she felt her
body convulse yet again. Her eyes rolled back in her head, he followed her as he released again. They both collapsed,
passing out on the bed with him still inside her.
When he awoke in the bed 4 hours later he
rolled over to find her gone. Quickly Alex rolled off the bed, adjusted his pants and went into the bathroom. Her duffle bag
was gone, the hair clips, all of the things that were there this morning were gone. He tore apart the hotel room furiously
looking for anything of hers, only to find nothing. Then he looked on the mirror on the wall across the foot of the bed and
he realized that she had left him. That with out saying a word she gave him the answer to his question, his love was just
not enough...
The realization sent him over the edge as he threw the hotel phone across
the room at the mirror, shattering his reflection into a thousand pieces. He fell to his knees on the floor burying his face
in his hands as he rocked back and forth as he cried out her name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She had left about 3 hours after they had passed out.
Quickly grabbing her things quietly and making sure that there was nothing to prove that she had ever been in there. Double
checked the room, looking down at him asleep on his back. He looked so peaceful, her heart clenched as he rolled to his side,
grabbing the pillow and holding it close to him tightly. She kissed him on the forehead and left.
Jocelynn slipped into her car and started sobbing hard and looked at the hotel one last time from her rear view mirror before
she pulled out of the parking lot. Just as she was about ready to get on the freeway when her cellphone went off. She looked
at it first contemplating answering it, quickly she wiped the tears from her eyes and cleared her throat as she answered it.
"What do you need Max?"
"Hey Joce, I know that it's Saturday and that you have the day off,
but I was wondering if you could come to my house really quick. There is something important that I would like to discuss
with you."
"Yeah, sure, just let me go home and change real quick and I will be there
e in an hour."
"That will be prefect. See you in an hour. " Max said as he hung up the phone.
Joce flipped the cellphone shut, and drove down the freeway toward home. When she got in
the apartment she quickly hopped in and out of the shower. Standing in front of her closet she ran her fingers across the
skirts and the dresses. She pulled out a pair of black dress pants and a burgundy blouse that wrapped around with a knot at
the left side. She quickly dressed and hurried from the apartment after grabbing her sunglasses.
When she finally pulled into Max's driveway 30 minutes later, she looked at her watch and noticed that it was 6pm. Suddenly
she had this angry feeling of pain course threw her veins, she stood outside of her car and looked towards the direction of
Green River. She knew he just woke up and found her gone. She felt tears fall from her eyes as she heard his voice in her
Head crying out her name in sadness and anger. The wind blew around her, whipping her hair around her face.
' There is no turning back. You have to do this, it will keep you safe. You won't get hurt this way,' She kept chanting to
herself, knowing that it was too late. The pain was already inside of her, she could feel apart of her soul die as his cries
echoed in her head. She turned up toward Max's house and knocked on the door, removing her shades to quickly wipe her eyes.
Max opened quickly with a smile on his face, "Hey there girl, why you crying?"He asked as he ushered her in.
Joce half smiled, "Oh you know how it is with the wind and the sand. It always gets behind your glasses and into your eyes
no matter what. So what did you need me here for?"
"Oh, yea, well come with me into my office."
Max remembering why she was here, "There is somebody that wants to meet you."
As they walked
into Max's office there were 2 men dressed in casual suits. The tall on with the short back hair held out his hand, "Hello,
Jocelynn Edwards? I am Anthony St. James and this is Marcus Scott. We are from J Records, Max sent us the tape of your duet
and we liked what we heard."
Joce shook both the gentleman's hands, "Well thank you, I am
flattered."She looked at Max and whispered to him, "What the hell did you do?" Max just shrugged with a teasing smile. "It
is nice to meet you as well. And I am glad that you liked the song."
Marcus cleared his throat,
"Nice to meet you as well, Miss Edwards. When we found out that you were an unsigned artist we had to come meet you. We would
like to offer you a full contract with our record label. We believe that you are a very talented artist and would love to
back an album of yours."
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