Jocelynn stood in the hair and make-up trailer, staring at her reflection
in the full length mirror. This was her 2nd change, they already taped the chorus of the song with all the BSB and herself,
now it was just her for the 2nd verse. It was now 4 pm. She almost didn't recognize her self, for the video concept he had
to be shown alone in part of the video, in despair. Her hair was piled at the top of her head in loose curls, he make-up was
done to make her pale, her eyes to look tired and they put in gray contact lenses.
Ironically she felt that she finally look the was on the outside that she
was feeling on the inside. For this part of the video they had made her take of her cross ring and necklace, she felt naked
without it. Although Nick had given her the necklace as a gift for singing the duet, the ring she has designed herself. Not
that she placed her faith into the cross as a religious point, it was just that to her it was very beautiful in it's simplicity.
She just loved how a cross looked, it held meaning to her that had nothing to do with religion or her faith in God. Silently
she bowed her head and prayed out loud.
"Dear Lord, give me the strength I need to make the decisions in my life
that will bring nothing but love and happiness to my family. Help me find the path that I am looking for and the ability to
answer the questions that are in my heart. Thank you, amen."
Lifting her head up she took one more look in the mirror, she wasn't an over
religious person, heaven knows that she has her own skeletons in her closet, but praying to god, or who ever it was that listened
always made her feel better, more relaxed. Thoughts once again of Alex started to creep into her head. She did care about
him, deeply and did want to be with him. But not right now. She needed to figure out her own issues with her new record deal,
and more importantly her son. Kevin understood that, so did every one else did too, well everyone that knew the whole story
did at least. But Alex had a power over to make her forget everything when she was in his arms. And it frightened her, that
he would only have to touch her and she would want him just as much as he wanted her.
But first, she needed to figure out her self, she wasn't ready to give up
her identity, to lose herself in a tornado of a relationship. She straighten the white and gray full flowing gown and took
a step out of the trailer where the director was waiting to take her to set. As she walked across the room she saw Alex staring
at her and she could feel a warm sensation cover her back. She looked away from him, and followed the director. For the next
hour they taped her part then she had to change once again.
"Jocelynn, you looked hauntingly beautiful," She heard a man say from behind
her, she turned in the chair and looked up at Kevin, "Never mind, I stand corrected, you look drop dead beautiful now."
"Thank you," She smiled as she stood up. Her new outfit was a baby blue dress
with a diagonal cut bottom and her hair was down in waves with sparkling hairspray in it make her look stunning.
Kevin held out his arm to here, "Well shall we? You are needed for
yours and Alex's couple part."She took his arm and they headed to the next set. Alex was standing there waiting with a stunned
look on his face. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. If China thought that he was obsessed with her before, boy
he was now. Quickly the director had them in their places, Jocelynn was up against the wall near the staircase and Alex was
in front of her.
"You look breath taking," Alex breathed into her ear.
"You look really great yourself, Alex. But please remember what I asked earlier."
She pleaded with him in a whisper.
Just then the music started and they sang along with it. When they got to
the bridge, it got really intense. As Alex sang 'It's an illusion, how can I feel this way?" He had his forehead against hers,
his body slightly only tilted over half of hers but his right hand was place right below her naval and he lightly tensed his
fingers. Jocelynn sang her part back to him, having one hand on his arm and the other on his back. When the song was done,
the spell between the broke as everyone started to clap. The director then called the taping a wrap for the video. That they
had more then enough footage for the video and wouldn't need to do more taping tomorrow.
"I need you, I love you," Alex groaned into her ear before he pulled away from
her.
Jocelynn gave a fake smile to everyone, Gina came up and hugged her, along
with Kara, Taz and LeighAnn. "Oh my dear lord woman, you guys nearly set the fucking hanger on fire!" LeighAnn laughed as
she hugged her.
Kara laughed, "Hell I am still amazed that they were able to build these
set in here to begin with. If I didn't know ahead of time I would have thought that the last scene was actually done in a
house!"
"I know, isn't this all incredible?" Joce smiled looking around as the ladies
headed toward her trailer. She saw China walk toward Nick's. "China! Why don't you come out and hang with us in my trailer.
Dude that sounds so funny. MY TRAILER!"
China just shook her head, "Um, no thanks Joce. I am going to get Nick and
I's stuff together before the vans come for us." She declined as she hurried away.
A frown formed on Joce's face. China and her hadn't had a chance to hang
out all day, every time Joce tried to chat with her China said that she had to do something or that she needed to sleep in
the trailer. She wondered what was going on. All the ladies entered with her into her trailer and they sat down at the table
or on the couch. Jocelynn got everyone something to drink.
"So what is the scoop with you and Alex now?" Gina asked.
"Gina-" Leighann warned her.
"What?! She's my sister, I have every right to be nosy. Now cough it up."
"There is nothin' between us for now. Look I don't really want to get into
details but lets just say that some bullshit happened, there was lies, there was misconceptions. All that I asked of him and
I ask of you guys too is that I am given my space to breath and think. I still have a ton of shit going on. I mean when I
get back to Wyoming I have a meeting with my lawyer, Joe and his lawyer about custody over Drogyn. I just need to focus on
that right now and my new endeavor."
"Yeah, Brian told me that you are going to work with Kevin on your new album."
LeighAnn said remembering. "I bet you are looking forward to going into the studio for the 1st time."
"Yeah I am, he was in here earlier and we talked, penned down an idea for
a song, hung out. He's a cool guy."
Gina took a sip of her soda, "Yea, Kev is. It's too bad that he and Kris
have decided to separate. But hopefully everything is all for the best."
Kara looked as Joce and lifted her eyebrows around with a sassy smile, "So
since Alex and you are not an item, mind if I go after him?"
"KARA!" All the girls groaned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking up at Nick who was changing his clothing, China pondered about what
she saw earlier between Kevin and Jocelynn. Kevin had kissed Joce pure and simple, but that didn't mean that is meant something.
"Babe, what's on your mind?"
"Hmm, oh. um actually I was wondering something. About Kevin and Kristin,"
Nick pulled his hoddie over his head, "Yeah, what about them?"
"They have been together along time, right?"
"Yes, yes they have. At least till recently." Nick nodded.
"Huh, what do you mean until recently?"
"Oh, I guess I didn't tell you. Kevin and Kris decided to separate for the
next few months. She wants to spend more time on her career and Kevin wanted a family. So they are on hiatus for now. Why?"
"Nothin' I was just wondering. It's not important baby." China told him.
"Come on let's go meet up with everyone."
Nick wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, "You okay? Missing Brennen
since the guys took him back to Wyoming? For the past hour or so you've seemed bummed."
"I am okay, it was wonderful for us to spend part of the afternoon with Brennon.
I didn't want to see him go."
"Don't worry, because if I have my way, you and him will be out here with
me permanently." Nick promised, then his cellphone went off he quickly opened it, "Hellloooo, oh hey man....... Yep be out
there in a minute." He said then closed it. "Okay lets go. Kevin wants us all to go out to dinner. He wants to do something
nice for Jocelynn and all of us." He said as he kissed her on the nose.